RANDOM MUSINGS

glossed in translation

Part of the initiation into the Benefam is learning the lingo, much of which is made up by wordologists who populate the premises. Herein, a few of my fave phrases:

Glossabitionist n. Gal who refuses to greet her public without wearing her ultra shines lip gloss. ”See that shine from 30 feet away? She’s such a glossabitionist!”

Prairie pups n. Benefit PR gals who pop their heads over the partition whenever there’s a gasp!/giggle!/gadzooks! coming from the neighboring copy department. ”Mention last night’s Bachelorette castoffs and the prairie pups pop up for a look.”

Cutest critter ever

WWJD acronym What would Jean or Jane do? ”OMG I have 3 dates tonight. WWJD?!”

Arch enemies n. Overzealous spa aestheticians who wax your brows into oblivion. “It’ll take 6 weeks to grow out the damage inflicted by my arch enemy. I’m headed to a Benefit Brow Bar to fix these tadpole tails, stat!”

Magnifying fearror n. Wave of panic that follows inspection in a fully lighted magnifying mirror.  ”A little POREfessional goes a long way to squash my worst magnifying fearrors.”

Breakover n. Post-breakup makeover involving 1 new lipstick (equivalent to 4 hours of $400/hour psychobabble) and copious amounts of BADgal lash waterproof.  ”Why cut bangs when you can get a free breakover at a Benefit counter?”

Punundrum n. ‘Round these parts, it’s just another word for writer’s block. ”I’m running low on sleep and creative fuel (a.k.a. Skittles) and I need a list of clever product names by noon. Oh the punundrum!”

Are you a wordologist? What’s your favorite Benefit-ized word?!

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