The F Word.

Flirting. It makes my heart race…and not in the good way…however, that was before The F Word.

Yes, the F word, as in flirting. Benefit has pulled together impressive knowledge on the subject with an online dating guide, field research on nonverbal communication, and a cute video showing how any moment can be flirtatious. I definitely picked up a few tips to use and finally realized that flirting, like makeup, shouldn’t be taken too seriously!

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To continue my research, I chatted with Jackie from Not a Pilgrim (her blog about living as a single 30 year-old in San Francisco). We got to chatting about dating in a big city, trying to smile on the bus, and lessons learned from online dating.


Q: Where is the best, but unexpected, place to flirt or meet new guys?

The best, by far, is opening up your creeper peepers and realizing that those glorious creatures are everywhere. You don’t have to marry that guy in the line next to you while waiting for the parking attendant, but why not think of something playful to say. At the very least, you pass the time and maybe make a stranger smile. Odds are, you’ll exchange brief banter and get that rush of an unexpected encounter leaving you with a glow you won’t mind everyone noticing.


Q: Is there one signal you look for to know a guy is interested?

Yes. That he isn’t checking: his watch, other women, his phone, his blackberry, the other side of the room, whatever the hell is stuck under his nail, other men, his watch AGAIN. Ultimately, is he engaged? And more importantly, I like to see if he is interested in me versus interested in me being an audience to him. I look for someone who can be an active listener, can be open to sharing, takes an interest in what I have to say.


Q: What is the one piece of advice you’d give a gal or guy who is recently single and back on the prowl?

Take your time and enjoy being single – I demand you! Think about all of the things that are amazing about rolling solo and embrace that for a while. That doesn’t mean avoid dating or don’t put yourself back out there – but your frame of mind will dictate what type of interactions you have in the wide world of flirts. People are quick to size each other up, so make sure you aren’t a rebound write-off. If you are excited, your cup will runneth over with endless possibilities and your datebook will be full.


Q: Do you have a first date go-to outfit?

I dare anyone to say they don’t. The first date go-to is a must. I have a sexy gossamer BCBG black top that I couldn’t look fat in even if I hid a friend in it to spy on my date. I pair it with jeans and depending on the venue/level of interest, I can dress it up or down with accessories and my shoe game. (Assert the flirt with these irresistible beauty looks)


Q: If you could tell guys one thing about picking up women what would it be?

First, I would tell EVERYONE to stop looking at their phones or fussing with their iPods and start flirting with each other again. Whatever happened to – oh I don’t know – playful eye contact and a hello while be pressed together on public trans? The key to picking up anyone is to look around and be open.


So, what are your best flirting tips…or better yet, have you had any disastrous pick-up lines?!